One term that gets thrown around a lot in the dating world is “sugar daddy.” But what exactly is a sugar daddy? What do these people want? Who wants to meet them? How does it all work? These questions and others will form the core of this article.
A Quick Definition
In simple terms, the term sugar daddy refers to a wealthy older man who curries favor with a younger woman with gifts and luxury living, usually in return for her company and quite possible sex. When you include all the facets, it doesn’t sound all that different from prostitution, but the most important difference is that there is no explicit transaction of cash for sex in a sugar daddy relationship.
While it’s understood that a sugar daddy provides financially for their other half, it’s not the same kind of direct pattern of cash for sex that one would expect between a sex worker and client. In fact, a number of so-called “platonic sugar daddies” exist where there’s no expectation of sex at all. You might think there’s a fine line being walked there, and perhaps you’re right, but that’s the reality of the sugar daddy world.
Types of Sugar Daddy
This type of sugar daddy is essentially the same as the definition we gave above, where you have an older wealthy man together with a younger woman, who he lavishes in gifts and financial support in exchange for her company, and quite possibly her commitment to a real sexual relationship between the two.
Some eligible sugar daddy candidates are constantly on the move in their personal and professional lives. They might maintain residences in different countries, even on different continents, and so they can only enjoy their sugar daddy status for short periods of time when they are in a particular place where their sugar baby resides. In these arrangements, there is only a partnership for the time in which the two are together, and at other times the sugar daddy isn’t offering any gifts or financial support.
While a sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship is often viewed as one based entirely on sex, there is sometimes another angle to the relationship, namely that of a mentor. It could be that the sugar baby has ambitions to start her own business, or advance herself through education and so on. These are times when the “mentor” sugar daddy comes in, acting not just as lover and provider of money and gifts, but also as a guide and supporter of their ambitions.
For some sugar daddies, the hassle of meeting sugar babies in person might be too fraught with logistical, perhaps even ethical difficulties, and thus they simply engage with a sugar baby entirely online. The two may exchange erotic text conversations, video chats, photos, or more. For some sugar daddies, this kind of interaction is fun enough and might be just what they want; plenty of excitement with none of the potential in-person drama.
Finally, there is one more segment of the sugar daddy population that doesn’t seek the sexual side of things at all. These could be men who were married for a long time and miss the sense of companionship that marriage brought, or who might just not be very sexual beings in themselves. These men will seek friendships and companionship with younger women, enjoying their energy, enthusiasm, and sense of fun and adventure, without anything sexual.
How to Become a Sugar Daddy
Believe it or not, becoming a sugar daddy isn’t something that just happens by accident. There are ways you can take steps to make it happen. Below we’ll take a look at different ways to be a sugar daddy:
Be Rich, Single, and 40+
The first 3 main criteria to fulfill the “sugar daddy” role are being wealthy, single, and typically more than 40 years old. First is the question of wealth, and what exactly constitutes being wealthy enough to be a sugar daddy. Definitions differ, and it will depend on local circumstances, of course but it’s generally expected that a sugar daddy will be earning at least $250,000 per year, and thus has the money to keep their sugar baby in a comfortable manner without them having to work.
The age factor is flexible, however, as the main requirement is that the sugar daddy is simply older than the sugar baby with whom they have a relationship. A rich man in his late 30s could equally be a sugar daddy to someone still in their early 20s, but in most cases the man is north of 40 years old.
Some even argue that being single isn’t necessarily a requirement, but it wouldn’t be very right of us to suggest that becoming a sugar daddy as a means of having an affair while married or in a committed relationship is a good idea. It’s potentially very messy, so it’s best left to those bachelors who are free and open.
Join a Sugar Daddy Website
There really are dating websites for all manner of tastes and interests nowadays, and yes, that includes those looking for sugar daddies. Below are some examples of popular sugar daddy sites:
Despite having the most obvious URL, this site is far from the most popular page, only garnering about 650,000 monthly visits. For some, however, that just makes it more “niche” and that’s a good thing when one is focused on finding a good sugar baby. The site uses a system of pay-as-you-go credits to allow access to premium features.
2. Secret Benefits
This site has about 20 million unique visitors each month, and is free to join. Premium features on the site are accessed through a system of pay-as-you-go credits, which you can simply replenish when you run out. This makes it a flexible model where those who don’t use the site much don’t have to feel like they’re wasting their money as they do.
3. Ashley Madison
This site was a bit controversial at first since it was set up as a platform that targeted rich married men who were looking to find a mistress. It has since gone more mainstream and attracts some 10-million monthly visits, and also features a credit system for payment rather than a fixed monthly fee.
Another option for those looking for something more niche is this platform, which among the options listed here arguably has the most user-friendly features and overall interface. Once again, the payment system is based on credits rather than any monthly subscription.
Meet Women at Events or Social Gatherings
If you want to meet a sugar baby outside of the Internet sites, then a good place might be at public events. If you think carefully about what kind of person you’d like to meet and connect with as a sugar daddy, then you should be able to tailor the event to that need.
If you want to meet ambitious, intelligent young women, for example, you might do so at a charity event, art gallery opening, or museum event where aspiring journalists, artists, critics, writers and others tend to congregate and attend. If it’s more fun and outgoing girls you want to meet, then a popular nightclub or a party somewhere would be a better choice.
Discuss the Arrangement Honestly
After you do meet someone, the time comes to talk about how your sugar daddy-baby relationship is going to work. It can be a little awkward for some the first time, but it’s important that both parties understand what they really want and/or need from each other. Communicate your needs to your prospective sugar baby, and ask them to do the same. Talk about what can and can’t work, and what the boundaries will be. Once you’ve agreed, you can put that behind you and let a trusting, fun and exciting connection between you begin.
How to Behave as a Sugar Daddy:
Let’s say you’ve now set yourself up as a sugar daddy and it’s going well. How can you keep things going smoothly and harmoniously? How can you be sure to enjoy the relationship and really get the most out of it?
As we mentioned before, it’s important that you and your sugar baby have set clear and well-defined boundaries around your relationship, saying what’s okay and what’s not, and what each person is bringing to the table. It may sound a bit business-like, but sometimes that’s just the nature of the sugar daddy-baby relationship. Once those boundaries are set, it’s important that you stick to them.
Be a Gentleman
Following on from the previous point, being a sugar daddy is not a license to behave in a licentious, untoward, creepy or oppressive manner. You don’t “own” your sugar baby, and it’s critical that you shed any such mindset immediately. What you have is a mutually beneficial relationship that you both enjoy, and that enjoyment should be equal. It therefore behooves you to behave as a gentleman would!
Put Fun at the Center
A sugar daddy-baby relationship should be, first and foremost, all about the fun. You might not be running a no-strings-attached relationship, but that doesn’t mean everything becomes serious. The relationship should still be mostly about fun and entertainment: fancy dinners with champagne, time on the yacht, VIP booths in nightclubs, 5-star resorts, private luxury travel, and so on. When fun is at the center of the relationship, its other aspects, whatever they are, will naturally work much better, too.
Remember: Sex Isn’t Everything
Terms like sugar daddy and sugar baby are quite charged with sexual connotations. It’s even to the extent where a concept like a “platonic” or “mentor” sugar daddy is an idea people can’t believe exists in reality, and that all sugar daddies and babies are all about the sex. This simply isn’t the case, nor is it the case that sugar daddies are all shallow old men looking for trophies. Sure, those people exist, but in many cases, it’s just older, wealthier men who just want to show women a good time, and have some fun in the process, maybe curing their own loneliness as they go.
Don’t Get Jealous
Finally, it’s also important when you’re a sugar daddy not to get jealous if you’ve agreed in advance that you and your sugar baby have a no-strings-attached kind of relationship. You might enjoy their time and company when you’re in town, but then spend much more time away from them. During that time, you shouldn’t be surprised or angry if they meet someone else and start a more regular relationship.
Ultimately, this comes back to a sugar daddy and sugar baby being able to openly and honestly communicate their hopes and expectations from the relationship at the start. With clear boundaries and red lines, neither party will inadvertently hurt the other.