And so, the unthinkable has happened to you. After a period of time of being in a relationship with a man or woman, it has ended and you are single again. Breakups are tough, and that’s not an overstatement. Even those breakups that are genuinely mutual and done in good faith with both parties hugging and actually staying friends afterward, can still hurt from time to time!
In today’s blog, we’ll be covering some helpful tips on how to better get over a breakup. We can’t promise that these will help you instantly feel better, but they’ll hopefully help you heal faster and more effectively, and start to move on more with life.
Reflect on the Reasons for Breaking Up
This can be a painful part of the process, but reflection is an important thing to do as a way to understand the reasons for what went wrong in your relationship, and also why it is that this breakup was the right thing to happen. It doesn’t matter if the breakup was your idea, your partner’s, or if it was mutual. Breakups invariably happen for good reasons, and when you’re clear on what those reasons were, you can start to move on.
For example, let’s say you’ve broken up with your girlfriend because she was unfaithful to you. Perhaps it happened on more than one occasion. The longstanding nature of your relationship might keep making you think that you should fight to keep it and should rethink the breakup. This can make things very hard for you, emotionally. Reflecting back on the reasons for your breakup, you can tell yourself with confidence that this has happened for good reason and that it’s critical that you try to move on.
Get to Grips with Your Real Feelings
Don’t be ashamed of how you feel, and don’t try to hide it from your loved ones. Breakups are hard, that’s just an inescapable fact. It’s important that you embrace how you feel, share it with those who will listen and care, and then start to work on them. Only by being honest about them will you be able to properly process your emotions.
Remember, above all, that it’s perfectly normal to be feeling these things. Others in your circle of friends, as well as your family members, will undoubtedly be able to empathize with you. They’ve likely been through the process themselves. Experiencing these things will make you a better source of support for if and when someone else you know is going through the same thing.
Take Some Time
There will always be some who think it’s a poor excuse, but if it’s possible for you to take a little time away from work, then take advantage of that. Things like compassionate leave doesn’t cover breakups, usually, but you could take a personal day, or some unused vacation time that you’ve let build up. Your company would always prefer you use up vacation time rather than let it accumulate too much anyway!
If you’ve got the resources and time, take a trip somewhere and get a change of scenery. Go somewhere with lovely weather, a relaxing atmosphere, and somewhere you can take a friend or two. It’s always better to have company. If you can’t get as much time, then look at a weekend getaway somewhere closer to home. A change of scenery is a change of scenery is a change of scenery — embrace it.
Take a Social Media Holiday
Back in the 1990s and early 2000s, you only had to worry about running into an ex in person, which in places like Manhattan or Chicago was usually pretty unlikely. In the modern age, however, you are constantly faced with your ex’s social media posts, which can easily work to throw you back into a depression.
It’s easy enough to manage, but you just need to take a few extra steps. First of all, you should either delete your ex from your social media, or at least go to your settings to block out their posts. Sometimes, if a breakup was done more amicably at first, it can seem strange to delete that other person. It seems to be going back on whatever commitment you had previously made to try and stay friends.
At any rate, blocking out their social media feed will at least ensure that you don’t get any unexpected surprise images that only work to get you down. Even better, you yourself should perhaps take a little holiday from social media and focus on your own real life.
Spend Time with Friends and Family
Your friends and family are the ones who will provide the most crucial support during a breakup time. They are the perfect distraction from all things breakup-related. With your friends and family you can laugh, reminisce, go to events, go shopping, and generally have fun. Those good feelings, endorphins and the companionship you feel will go a long way to making you feel better.
Time spent with friends and family is invariably time spent not thinking about your ex and broken down relationship. It also helps to put those things into perspective so that if and when they do start to enter your mind, you have other great things going on in life to overshadow that sadness.
Work On Your Body and Mind
Getting into a new health and fitness kick is a great way to start getting past a breakup. Working out at the gym or with friends at home or other locations will help you feel good about yourself and how you look. More endorphins will never go amiss, either! Exercise is a terrific source of those.
You can also work on your diet, taking in more wholesome foods, learning to cook more dishes for yourself. The new knowledge and skills that you can acquire are things you’ll never regret having. There are those that say that the best revenge you can ever get on your enemies is to live well. When you’ve been through a rough breakup and just removed someone who was treating you poorly, it’s important to build yourself up and regain your self-esteem.
Better yet, if you’re looking to move on straight into a new relationship, then working on your body and mind is a great way to make it happen! There’s nothing more attractive than a fit, smart, sexy and sorted out individual.
Focus on the Future
As we mentioned before, breakups usually happen for good reason. That being the case, you shouldn’t always be wallowing in the past and raking through your relationship in your mind over and over. It’s critical that you put your focus on the future. How do you want to look in a few months’ time? How do you want to feel? When do you want to think about a new relationship? Do you have any career goals that you want to focus on?
Focusing on the future means you’re always moving forward, and forward is the right direction for you to be moving in.
You’ll Get There – One Day at a Time
It might sound a bit cliche to say this, but to really get over a breakup, you do just have to take things steadily, one day at a time. Each day that you can feel that you’ve had a good day, that you feel good about what you’ve done or achieved that day, and haven’t spent the time looking at your ex’s social media or thinking about trying to text them or call them, is a small victory, and those small victories build up over time.
Don’t let other people try and force a timeline from you. If you don’t feel ready to start dating yet, or you’re not in the mood to be told to “just get over it” by your friends or family, then don’t stand for that. Everyone gets over these things at their own pace, and you’re no different. Take each day as it comes and just keep trying to make the best of things.