How long has it been since you were last in a relationship with a woman? When did you last tell another person, “I have a girlfriend.” If you’re struggling to remember, then it might have been too long. Of course, we know that not everyone “needs” a girlfriend and some people are perfectly happy being on their own. On the other hand, most people would likely not deny that they’d like to meet a nice girl.
OK, so how do you get a girlfriend? The person who comes up with a definitive and objectively provable answer to the question could stand to make a lot of money. Alas, that’s not the reality we live in. In today’s blog, we’re looking at tips and advice on how to make it happen.
Getting a Girlfriend: Why Does it Matter?
You might have always told yourself that you don’t need a girlfriend, and/or the reason you don’t have a girlfriend right now is because you don’t want one. As we mentioned already, it’s ok to be alone and there are many thriving and happy single people in the world. However, humans are a naturally social creature and we crave company, companionship and affection. It’s in our nature.
Finding a girlfriend matters because it brings in a whole new person to enjoy life together. Burdens are shared and thus made easier to bear; joys are doubled and thus made all the more exquisite to experience. It’s also a key milestone in life, and a key part of our growing up, settling down and maturing curve in life.
So, let’s now take a look at some solid advice on how to better one’s chances in finding some of this companionship, joy, and growth, shall we?
Tips on Finding a Girlfriend
1. Create an Online Dating Profile
You might not have considered online dating before, but it’s no longer at the fringes of the dating world. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Countless millions of people are now connected via online dating and social networking platforms. It is therefore a solid place to start, especially if you live in a suburban or rural area where there is a shortage of crowded night spots.
Your profile should be simple, honest and straightforward. Include a nice, clear picture of yourself — multiple pictures showing your personality, life, and interests would be ideal — and try to resist using photoshop and filters to beautify yourself. Let potential matches see who you really are.
As for profile information, there’s no need to tell your life story. Just keep information simple and honest. Your main goal is to attract someone’s attention and then get them to message, email or otherwise contact you through whatever channel that platform uses. Inject a little humor in there, and keep things light and positive.
2. Get Out and Socialize
Online dating isn’t for everyone, but it also shouldn’t be the only avenue you go down even if you have an active profile. If you want to meet new people, then you have to put yourself out there where the people are, and hopefully the single people. It can be challenging for some people, but many attest that there is something more satisfying about meeting someone in a social setting rather than online.
Don’t misunderstand us, though. When we say socialize, we don’t necessarily mean for you to hit every bar and club in the local area! Social settings come in many forms. You should attend community events, book fairs, bake sales, carnivals, music festivals, and any other event where people are gathering for a purpose. You might actually increase your chances of meeting someone more compatible if you target your socializing to things that you genuinely enjoy doing.
3. Ask Friends for Introductions
Another useful thing you can do is tap into your friend network, and possibly your colleague network as well. Ask your friends, family and co-workers to introduce you to people that they think you might like. It can be a bit of a social minefield, for sure, but to get a girlfriend you do need to meet people.
One advantage of getting a girlfriend via friend or family introduction is that they are already partially wired into your friend network. That can make it easy for you and your new love interest to socialize with others and find common ground. What’s more, your friends and family know you quite well, and can often judge quite well what kind of person would be good for you as a girlfriend, even if you don’t quite see it yourself at first.
4. Work On Yourself
The previous 3 points all deal with how to encounter and meet new people. That’s certainly a good place to start, but so is looking at yourself and reflecting on possible reasons why you’re single. Have you gained weight in recent months of single life? Have you lost some of your mojo? Do you dress well? Do you keep your hair in good order?
No one should expect others just to come to them and be with them because they think they deserve it or that they think it’s time. The mature person understands that attraction has to go both ways for a relationship to work, and therefore one might need to spend time working on and improving oneself before they can make a love connection.
5. Grow Your Confidence
Besides trying to look your best, you should also work on positive personality traits, probably the most attractive of which to women is confidence. Women seem to be attracted to people who exhibit a strong level of confidence that doesn’t cross the line into arrogance. Confident people tend to be more successful, more happy within themselves, more stable and more outgoing. These are things that almost any woman would say they want in a partner.
Therefore, spend time building confidence firstly through improving the way you look (see previous point), but also on getting things in good order in your life. Do you have a job you like? Are you saving money? Do you have plans for the future? Sometimes, sorting through these things is the perfect way to start a confidence boost.
Another way to boost confidence is to work on being positive more generally in life. Maintaining a positive outlook and thinking strong positive thoughts about yourself and how to deal with problems in life will help you project confidence in a really awesome way.
6. Be Friends with Women First
Next, some people might find it hard to connect with women on a romantic level because they’ve never established meaningful friendships with any significant number of women in the past. Have you ever been just friends with a girl without there being sexual tension or some intention on your part to try and be with that girl romantically?
Something that might help is to find women you can be real friends with. They may be women you already know, or you might have to meet some new people. A good way to make friends is once again through your hobbies and interests.
You never know! Things that start as friendship can sometimes blossom into more. The closeness of a friendship can lay the foundations for a real and lasting intimacy. Many successful couples may tell you that they were friends before they became romantically involved.
7. Don’t Push too Hard
It’s important to remember that finding a girlfriend is a process that can ultimately take a lot of time. It might take you more time than expected, and you have to be patient throughout. Creating an online profile may throw up a great result quickly, and yes you could meet someone randomly in your favorite bar one night, but these are chance happenings. You can’t expect that these things will just happen immediately.
Equally, when you meet someone you like, it’s important not to push the relationship through to a more serious status before it’s time. Take your time when you’re dating someone new. Get to know them, and try to experience as many different things with that person as possible. Those experiences are what will indicate whether or not that person is “girlfriend material.”
8. Don’t Sleep with Women too Early
Finally, if you’re serious about finding a relationship and building something real and lasting, then it’s not realistic to simply sign up on a hookup site and sleep with every woman you meet on the first date or a very short time after getting to know them. Establishing sexual chemistry is both useful and important, but there’s a time for that. Sooner is invariably not better when you’re trying to find something real.