How Do I Know If a Guy Wants More Than Casual?

How Do I Know If a Guy Wants More Than Casual?

It can be frustrating when there’s a guy you like very much, but you can never be sure about what it is they really want. Most guys out there are pretty happy to get a casual, no-strings-attached type of relationship after a first meeting with someone new, but how can you know with more certainty when you’re with a guy who might want more? 

Can I Ask a Guy Directly If He Wants More Than Casual?

Let’s start with the most obvious solution to this question, which is that if you are really keen on learning about whether or not a guy wants more than something casual, you can just ask. Be wary, though, because you either might not get the answer you want, or you might “spook” the guy with your questions on this topic so early into your acquaintanceship.

There’s always a good chance that a guy will take such a question in the right spirit, but just in case you are worried about it coming across in the wrong way, there are some other signs that you can look out for. Let’s start with some overt signs that he’s after something more than a casual fling.

Signs That a Guy Wants More Than Casual

He Talks About More Than Sex

When a guy is really only interested in keeping things casual, his talking points rarely stray beyond the topic of sex or other intimate fun.  On the other hand, one of the strongest indications that they are interested in more is when their topics of conversation go not just a little beyond but far beyond that of love making and fun in the bedroom.

If his questions are more comprehensive, and he’s taking the time to get to know you on a deeper level, then it’s a great sign that he’s not just looking for casual fun. Why else would he be investing so much time and effort to find out more if all he wanted was sex?

He Shows Vulnerability

Another strong sign that a guy is looking for something more serious is when they show you some vulnerability in your communication and interaction. Guys who are only into casual connections tend to be more private and guarded about their personal lives and vulnerabilities, and are thus unwilling to share. After all, why should they? Vulnerability can so often break the sexual electricity that makes those early encounters so enjoyable.

When someone shows signs of a willingness to open up, it’s a positive sign of trust, and that is the foundation of something much greater than any fling. What’s more, it doesn’t have to be anything so majorly personal or serious to be a positive sign of vulnerability. It could be something as simple as sharing a flaw or weakness they have, such as a phobia. Take any revealing of these things as a positive sign.

He Buys You Gifts (And They’re Meaningful)

This one is fairly straightforward. Any guy can buy you a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates. However, not every guy will have picked up on when you mentioned your favorite flowers or chocolates, or another specific thing you like and turn that into a gift or an experience.

When someone makes a gift of something meaningful or personal, clearly tailored to you, then it’s a clear sign they think you a lot more deeply than anyone would if they were just looking for something casual.

He Makes Time for Real Dates and Activities

A classic sign of someone wanting to keep it casual is when they keep all your encounters essentially the same. It might be a late-night hookup, a daytime hookup, or perhaps meeting up at a nightlife spot for drinks before going back to someone’s place for a hookup. In the vast majority of cases, however, meetings are centered around that one final aim.

When a guy is more serious, however, he’ll suggest a greater variety of activities: seeing a movie, dinner at a nice restaurant, an afternoon at the park, grabbing coffee, or something else. On top of that, they won’t make every get-together about sleeping together.

He Mentions Introducing You to Friends or Family

As you’re talking to your new guy, do they ever mention the possibility of you meeting their friends or family? In the earlier days, it’s more likely they’ll introduce you to friends, but that’s just as good a sign. It might not be until you’re in more of an “official” relationship before they mention a family meeting.

If your guy is talking about you coming to hang out with him and his friends on a night out, or they want to take you to an event or a dinner party, then it seems that there’s a good chance he is looking for something more meaningful indeed.

Other Signs to Consider

To wrap up, you should also be aware of other key signs and behaviors that can help indicate interest in something more meaningful, such as:

  • A genuine interest in your opinions on deeper conversation topics
  • Mentions of taking trips or vacationing together in the near future
  • They initiate text conversations and express how much they miss you when you’re absent
  • You never run out of things to talk about when you’re together

All of these and more are clear indications that your guy wants more than a casual fling. Some claim that “all guys are after the same thing” but that is very much false, in reality. Look for the signs, but don’t be afraid to ask if you really want to know!