What should you do if you’re in a situation where you really like a guy, but you have no idea if he feels the same way about you. There are many ways in which this can happen, and it invariably leads to people trying to seek advice on possible signs to give them a clue as to the other person’s feelings. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of this advice is quite bad.
For instance, the classic idea that when a guy ignores you or is rude to you, it means they like you. It can lead people into self-destructive and unhealthy behaviors and connections with other people when they think like that. If you connect abuse or rudeness as a sign, then you’re likely to keep accepting it, always hanging on to the belief that it will soon blossom into something romantic.
For today’s blog, we’ve prepared some more realistic and practical advice to help you understand whether or not a guy likes you. Hopefully these will save you from the potential relationship pitfalls that can come from a lack of clarity and understanding in your connection with a man.
1. He Initiates Conversations and Other Contact
Many of us have dated people who never seem to be the one who initiates contact between the two of you. If you are always the one messaging him, calling him, making arrangements to do things that he then agrees to (or not), then there’s a problem here. When a man appears unwilling to ever be the “initiator” for anything, then it’s a sign that he’s not really that interested in you to begin with.
A man who is generally interested has a strong and even primal sense of wanting to go after you. Don’t think of yourself as prey being hunted, but rather as a romantic quarry being pursued. When men are interested, they take the initiative, and that’s an invariable fact. Naturally, some men are perhaps more passive, but it’s a first negative sign that he’s not really into you.
2. He Seems to be Willing to Do Anything with You
When you have a guy in your life who seems willing to do almost anything as long as it’s something with you, then you more than likely have someone who likes you a great deal. For instance, it’s one thing for a guy to agree to go to a concert, a nice dinner, or to see a movie with you. These are things that he undoubtedly enjoys himself, right? But how about when a guy agrees to go grocery shopping, or to accompany and assist you doing errands or housework?
When guys are apparently willing and even keen to join you on activities you assumed they’d strongly dislike, then it’s most likely that they do so because they just want to spend as much time with you as possible. In other words, they’re super into you.
3. He is Willing to Go Out of His Way for You
Following on from the last point, the same principle applies when you think about what this guy is willing to do for you. If you’re dating someone who only ever helps out when it suits them or when it happens to be in alignment with their own day and schedule, then the feeling that person has for you isn’t very strong. It’s the guys who will clearly and willingly go out of their way to help you out that genuinely like you.
Has a guy you’ve been with offered to drive miles out of the way to take you somewhere you need to get to, or pick you up again? Has he offered to run an important errand for you when you couldn’t, such as picking up a prescription or taking your pet to the vet? Has a guy ever put himself at any level of discomfort just to do something nice for you? If you answered yes to any of those, then you have a guy there who likes you a whole lot.
4. He Makes a lot of Direct Eye Contact
When you’re talking to a guy, try to notice where his eyes are wandering. If his eyes stay fixed on you the whole time, then that’s a reliable sign that he likes you. If he’s avoiding eye contact, it could just be that he feels awkward, but if eye contact doesn’t develop over time, then something is definitely wrong.
Even worse, if his eyes are completely distracted by his smartphone, tablet, laptop or any other device, or if they are wandering to other people in the room seemingly checking them out, then this guy might just not be so into you. The reason a guy locks eye contact with you when he likes you is because you are the one that he wants at that moment. His eyes don’t wander because there’s nothing else for him anywhere in the room or beyond. In other words, his eyes don’t need to wander.
5. He’s Curious About You
When you’re talking to an attractive guy, either online or in person, take note of how many questions the guy asks. If you have to be thinking up the questions and asking the guy all night, then he’s really only interested in talking about himself. A guy who likes you will want to know more about you, and he’ll likely even be a bit conscious of talking about himself too much. A guy who is curious about you wants to get to know you because he likes you. The more he gets to know, the more he has to like.
6. He Notices When You’ve “Changed”
When someone is interested in you, they pay a lot of attention to how you’re doing. They will notice even small changes that happen, and compliment you where appropriate. You might have gotten your hair colored or cut, or be wearing a new outfit, or a new piece of jewelry. If he hasn’t seen it before, he’ll likely inquire about it. When someone is that attentive, there are some who might find it a bit much, but in a more positive way it means that they like you a lot.
Sometimes the changes they notice aren’t in clothing or accessories, but in demeanor or mood. They may sense when you’re not feeling well, or are upset about something and try to find a way to comfort you. Isn’t that a kind of attentiveness we all crave from a guy? A thoughtful and attentive boyfriend is surely a must-have!
7. He Tells You
Finally, not everything has to be some semi-cryptic sign. The fact is that a guy may well just tell you straight up that he likes you or is crushing on you. Equally, you shouldn’t feel so afraid to just ask. If you’re wondering, and you feel there are signs, then it might be best to try and ask the guy directly to see if there’s anything to it. The worst he can say is no, so what do you really have to lose?
Remember Not to Blame Yourself
It’s very easy in these moments where you might realize a guy doesn’t like you as you hoped to start blaming yourself. You might think that you’re not good enough, not attractive enough, or that you’ve done something to put him off. Here’s the truth: regardless of whatever you might have said or done, it’s always for the best when you find that a guy is not really interested in you.
But if you’re so invested in a guy, how can it be for the best? Well, if you discover that a person you’re dating isn’t really into you, it will save you both a lot of time and energy to just let go. Some things are just not meant to be, and that’s ok. The sooner you break it off with the guy who doesn’t appreciate you, the sooner you get back on track to be with someone who likes you just the way you are.