A Complete Guide to the First Kiss

A Complete Guide to the First Kiss

A first kiss is typically a wonderful and defining moment in the early stages of any relationship. Of course, it becomes even more meaningful when that kiss is also the first one that someone has had in their entire life. Pretty much any way that you choose to look at the act of a first kiss, it becomes a very special and meaningful moment in people’s lives.

When it comes to first kisses, there is often a lot of debate about when the perfect moment is to have it, or in the case of young people the appropriate age to have one’s first kiss. Is a first kiss just something to get whenever you can? Or is it something that’s more special and should be saved for the perfect moment?

Defining a “First Kiss”

The term “first kiss” has more than one meaning and connotation, of course. Broadly speaking, however, we can split it into two main categories. There’s the first kiss of one’s whole life, and then there’s the first kiss that one shares with someone they are currently dating or otherwise romantically involved with.

First Kiss in Life

The first type is typically a feature of growing up, with kids experiencing the sensation of their first kiss at all different ages and stages of life. Some kids get it out of the way very early and may have their first kiss with another girl or boy before the age of 12. While some parents might think it’s too young, others point out that it’s just kids being kids.

First kisses in youth may happen as a result of having one’s first boyfriend or girlfriend while still at school, or they may happen more “accidentally” such as in a game of chance like Spin the Bottle. As kids get older, they learn about other types of kissing, of course, which for some may reset the clock on a first-time experience. For example, the first time they kissed with tongues at age 14 or 15 might trump the time they got a little peck on the lips from a girl they liked when they were 12: a new “first kiss.”

First Kiss When Dating

The second broad type of first kiss comes when you’re dating another person and it’s the first sort of romantically intimate moment that you share. The first kiss while you’re dating often acts as a barometer reading for how the rest of your connection is doing. For instance, a sweet, firm kiss on the lips with feeling after the first date or two is a very good sign. However, if you’ve been out with someone several times and all they’re up for is a peck on the cheek, then there might be something wrong there.

Most people are willing to share at least one kiss with another person fairly early on in the dating cycle, and even after the first date. When it goes well, it’s a significant milestone as it works like a key that unlocks the next level of a relationship between people, where they move from platonic and friendly on a date to having a physical connection.

What is a First Kiss Like?

First-Ever Kiss

For most people, their first kiss is a sublime and otherworldly experience. If it’s the first of their lives, it opens up an entirely new world of affection and ways to express love. It also feels great to have someone who you know likes you enough to do that with you in public!

When it’s your very first time, however, kissing can also feel a little strange. Most teenagers who try it talk about how it feels kind of “wet” or even “sloppy,” but part of that is down to their lack of technique, and the nerves from both parties playing a negative role. Such kisses among teenagers are usually quite short in their first instance. Most common is a single, firm kiss on the lips without any tongues, and often without even any hands getting involved touching faces or other parts of the body.

Usually, it’s thought that only a kiss on the lips will count as a teenager’s “first kiss.” Girls and boys aplenty — not to mention relatives — will kiss them on the cheek or forehead, and while it might be nice to get a kiss on the cheek from a beautiful girl or handsome boy, it doesn’t really count.

Most people in the US agree that the “right” age for having a first kiss is about 15 years old, but on PRNewswire.com where these numbers were shown, it also said that most respondent parents reported their own first kisses happening when they were 14.

First Kiss While Dating

Similar to the first-ever kiss, the first “real” kiss when you’re dating someone has to be a proper kiss on the lips. What’s more, since you’re likely an adult when you’re doing this, it will likely be a kiss with a bit of passion that lasts for at least 4-5 seconds, quite possibly with a bit of tongue in there, too.

Of all the kisses you might have with a person, the first kiss is usually the shortest one. The idea is that you test the water to make sure that both of you are ready and willing to move your relationship to this next stage. If you are ready, then you go ahead and do it.

The first kiss while dating can be a real spark generator. After taking someone’s hand and sensing the electricity there, the first kiss is the next test of compatibility as you see if the electricity will spark up when your lips come together for that first time. If it doesn’t, that can sometimes mean the end for a dating couple, but that’s sometimes for the best. If the sparks do fly, then it’s exciting because it means there’s real chemistry between the two of you.

How Can You Tell if Someone Wants to Kiss You?

So, if you’re with someone who you like, and you’ve been spending time with them but you haven’t kissed yet, how can you know when the time is right? The best kisses are always the ones that happen just at the right moments when both parties are ready and anticipating that sublime moment.

Here are some of the best ways to tell that someone you’re with really wants to kiss you:

They’re Flirting…A Lot

When someone is with you and flirting in close proximity, it’s easily the best giveaway that they’re hoping and/or expecting you to kiss them at some point. When you’ve just met someone, flirting is a sign of physical or sexual attraction to that person, but if you’re already on a date with them, then flirting is not only that, but also a way to indicate that you’re ready to do something physical with that person, even if it is just the one kiss.

They Make Close Eye Contact

Another key sign that someone wants to kiss is that they can barely take their eyes away from yours. Locking eye contact is often the immediate prelude to a first kiss. When on a first date, the two people might return to one person’s place of residence and either when outside the building or when outside the front door, there will be this key moment where the two look into each other’s eyes. If and when that look goes on for long enough, then it’s a clear sign that the two are thinking about and probably preparing to move in for a kiss.

You See Them Check Their Breath

When they thought you weren’t looking, did you happen to see that your date was checking their breath? They might have been subtly trying to breathe into their hand and catching the odor, for example, which is the most common action you see where people are doing that. They may try to do it quickly but you sometimes may catch a glimpse. Alternatively, you might see them spray something into their mouth when they think you’re not looking, such as breath freshener.

“Accidental” Touches and Growing Proximity

Finally, one other more physical sign that may come along with heavy flirting is when the other person “accidentally” touches you on purpose, perhaps just on the arm or shoulder, a playful tap at first, but it could turn into something more lingering. On top of that, they’re likely moving to sit or stand closer to where you are. This is likely them positioning themselves to be in the perfect spot when that moment to kiss comes along.

Summary: Rules of the First Kiss

To wrap up today’s blog, here are a few summarizing rules about the first kiss:

  • The first one in your life should be saved for your teen years: around 14-15. This will help it be better and more special.
  • Your first date kiss with someone you really like should be a very special moment, so try to make it something story-worthy.
  • No kissing should happen if one or both parties are even a little bit unwilling.
  • Don’t be in a rush to kiss with tongues. It’s a nice step up, but it can wait for when you’re more ready.
  • Don’t worry if your first kiss is short and sweet — there’s plenty more where that came from!